Analysis of Intergalactic Travelog Reveals Scary Details about UFOs, Cow Abductions & Crop Circles
A beautifully illustrated Travelog created by an extraterrestrial tourist was discovered in a rural New Jersey swamp, apparently dropped from one of the hundreds of drones that plagued the Garden State earlier this year. NASA has confirmed that the authenticated diary provides unprecedented insight into previously unexplainable phenomena that have puzzled citizens and scientists alike for decades.
Shutterbug obtained a copy of this otherworldly travel album and shares portions herewith, including summaries of comments and conclusions provided by official UAP/UFO experts, independent objective observers and my Uncle Tadeusz.
The Photos Are Authentic
You’re seeing them here first, Dear Reader, images from the photo travelog of an interplanetary Being who arrived on Earth this summer to hang out with a few of his [or her] peeps and to scare the living hell out of humans. Uncle Tadeusz says they’re friendly; in fact, he dated one.
Prior to obtaining this enlightening album, NASA had little concrete evidence aside from some blurry video of ultrasonic Tac Tak candy and eyewitness reports from a few flax farmers in Bulgaria, many of whom were sober.
Images Decoded By Renowned Authority
Ultimately, after several long weeks of meticulous investigation by leading UFO photography expert Ron Leach, the world has a clearer view of Beings with whom we share the universe.
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Conclusion
Stand on the edge here and jump to your own, if you’re longing for a conclusion. If you’re concerned about what may be at the bottom, only jump half-way down.
Have I met a Being myself? No. I thought I spotted one at the ShopRite in Poughkeepsie the other day, but it turned out to be a rutabaga turned upside down.
All we know for certain is Beings dress preppy, tip poorly and drive cars they can’t afford. Yup, they model themselves after 1980s-vintage American Yuppies. Not to be confused with puppies, but that’s a story for another time.
—Jon Sienkiewicz
