Your nervous system is here to protect you. Instead of trying to push through stressful situations, try asking yourself how you can work with your nervous system in order to move forward with more ease and a feeling of safety in your body.

By creating a better understanding of your nervous system, you’re able to understand how and why you respond to high levels of stress — and as a result, become better prepared to regulate your emotions.

Why Feeling Unsafe Makes It Impossible To Live Joyfully

How Your Nervous System Works (A Simplified Explanation)

If you only remember one thing from this article, I hope it’s this: “It’s impossible to live joyfully and engage with people when feeling unsafe.”

It’s through your nervous system that you communicate with the outside world: the nervous system takes in information through your senses, processes the information, and triggers reactions.

Your nervous system has two main modes — sympathetic and parasympathetic (AKA Fight or Flight and Rest and Digest) — and at any given time, you are in one mode or the other.

When you are not in a stressful situation, the nervous system is calm. You feel safe to engage with others, you’re more optimistic, your emotions are stable, and you have a natural curiosity about life.

However, when your brain perceives a threat, it activates the sympathetic nervous system (Fight or Flight) and your body goes into defence mode. Things you might experience in this state are: rapid heartbeat, shallow breathing, tightening of muscles, and feeling nauseous. 

Survival Mode

To create some context for you, I wanted to share a personal story about my recent experience with depression and how working with my nervous system helped bring me back to a feeling of safety where I felt like I could move through this stressful time with more ease.

When I was going through a really dark time late last year, I felt like my world was spiraling into a black hole. I had recently moved to South Lake Tahoe where I was thrown into a new environment — right after parting ways with Scott after 14 years of being in a relationship together.

I only knew one other person in Tahoe and a couple of months after I moved there, I started having some health issues in addition to experiencing a couple of big events that triggered an old sexual abuse wound.

There were a couple of weeks that I couldn’t get out of bed and the crying seemed like it would never stop. Right around this time, my lease was coming up for renewal in Tahoe and my niece (the only person I knew in Tahoe) had decided to get her own place with her boyfriend so I was considering getting a one bedroom apartment on my own.

I was on the fence about whether I thought living by myself at a time when I felt like I was drowning was a good idea. Not to mention, winter was about to hit and I imagined myself spending a lot of alone time in my apartment, in the middle of snowstorms, and unable to get my usual nature fix.

I contemplated just traveling around in my 13′ camper, but the idea of traveling by myself in my trailer  — in winter — didn’t feel quite right either.

During all of this, I went on a river cruise in France, and someone on that trip asked me why I didn’t just move back to San Diego.

Honestly, the thought had never crossed my mind, but it must have planted a seed because the second I touched down in Los Angeles — on my return from France — I started looking for temporary studios in San Diego. I figured I wouldn’t find anything ideal because housing has been so extremely hard to find since the pandemic began.

As luck would have it, the first listing I looked at seemed perfect and the host responded to my message right away — letting me know it was still available. Long story short, I found a cute month-to-month studio in a quiet neighborhood in Carlsbad.

As soon as I made that commitment (which all happened really fast) I felt a huge sigh of relief. I told myself I would stay as long as I needed in order to get my health back to a good place and start to feel stronger mentally.

It wasn’t until speaking with a friend yesterday that I realized why after making the decision to move back to San Diego caused me to feel like a huge weight had been lifted. She asked me how I got through that dark time and I didn’t have an immediate answer. The only thing I could trace it back to was when I made the decision to come back to San Diego, things started to really shift for me.

Moving to a new environment with little no support during a very stressful time in my life put my body in survival mode. It’s no wonder I began experiencing health issues!

Not only are we still in a pandemic, but my world had been turned completely upside down — leaving a 14-year relationship, trying to revive a struggling business, experiencing back-to-back sexual trauma triggers, and diving back into travel with a whole new set of fears and bureaucratic hoops to jump through.

On the other hand, San Diego feels familiar to me. I have a support system here, I have familiar doctors, and the location itself feels familiar. Living in a resort town after a place like San Diego is a bit of culture shock even without all of these other life stressors.

I’m not saying moving back to San Diego cured everything, but it did help to regulate my nervous system enough to safely move through these emotions that were coming up and, as a result, make decisions from a more grounded place.

After doing some deep work over the past 3 months in San Diego — with a lot of quiet time by myself — out of the blue one morning, I felt the shift. I was ready for the next chapter in my life and my body finally felt safe enough to take the leap. I gave my notice that morning and now I’m embarking on a solo journey traveling around the Western United States. (More on that soon!)

How To Regulate The Nervous System Out Of Survival Mode

While not everyone can make such a drastic change as moving, there are plenty of small things you can do if you feel your nervous system moving into survival mode.

First, I want to point out that this does take some practice and a lot of awareness. When you’re in survival mode, it’s not always easy to notice it yourself. I didn’t even fully realize what was happening while I was in that state, but thankfully my intuition guided me to the best decision at that point in my life.

Acknowledge

First, and most importantly, acknowledging that you are in survival mode and not over-identifying with your emotions makes things feel so much more manageable. Just recognizing when your behaviors are being influenced by your survival brain is a HUGE win.

Breathe

Our breath literally gives us life, yet we rarely pay attention to how we are breathing during our normal day-to-day activities. Sometimes the simple act of paying attention to our breath can move us from a survival state into a more regulated state.

Slow, deep breaths activates the hypothalamus to send neurohormones that inhibit stress-producing hormones and trigger a relaxation response in the body.

The next time you’re feeling stressed, try breathing in for 4 counts and breathing out for 8 counts. In addition to triggering a relaxation response in the body, it gives your brain something to focus on besides the anxiety you’re feeling about the future.

Scott and I are both trained breathwork guides, so if you’re looking for a little more support in this area of your life, you can book a guided breathwork session here. If you’ve never tried breathwork, it’s a wild experience and is one of the best ways I know to work through difficult emotions.

Connect To The Present Moment

I encountered another angel along my path during my time in France. After unintentionally bursting into tears at a work dinner, the woman next to me hugged me, whispered some very loving and encouraging words, took off her bracelet that said “Be Present” and put it on my wrist.

I will never forget this moment for as long as I live. Things really do feel much more manageable when we’re not throwing “what ifs” into the mix of what already feels unmanageable in the present moment. 

I include a few ways to connect to the present moment in this post: 10 Ways To Stay Calm During Difficult Times.

Self-Care

Some simple self care suggestions include: taking a bath, making a cup of tea (chamomile is a wonderful calming tea), getting outside, going for a walk, nourishing your body with healthy foods, wrapping yourself in a weighted blanket, watching a funny movie, and laughing with friends.

Use the above suggestions or find ones that work best for your body. Trust that you know what’s best for you. If you can, try to stay away from stimulants. For many people, stimulants increase anxiety.

Ask For Help

In survival state, it’s easy to isolate yourself and think you’re all alone. Call a friend, find a therapist, search for others’ stories — do whatever you need to do to in order to feel more supported.

A friend of mine is a health and life coach that focuses specifically on nervous system support. If that’s something you’re seeking, I highly recommend booking a discovery call with her.

Where To Learn More About The Nervous System

If you’re interested in learning more about the nervous system, I highly recommend these books:

The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy

The Pocket Guide To Polyvagal Theory

Listen To Our Podcast:

Myofascial Release & How It Can Help Heal Trauma

The post Why Feeling Unsafe Makes It Impossible To Live Joyfully (& How To Change It) appeared first on Ordinary Traveler.

Can I travel to Spain with my children if they haven’t been vaccinated?

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Walk-in shower ideas are trending hard, and for very good reason. Midway between a fully enclosed shower and a completely open wet room, walk-in showers offer the best of both worlds. You get to enjoy the spaciousness and level-entry access of a wet room but without having to tank the entire room.

Walk-in showers are similar to regular shower enclosures but without a door. However, unlike a wet room, they do have some form of screen or partition wall that protects the rest of the room from shower spray.

One of the simplest ways to install a walk-in shower idea is to buy a specialist walk-in enclosure, complete with low-level tray and screens on one or more sides, depending on whether it is to be installed in a corner, alcove or centrally on a wall. The entrance will always be open, but you won’t need to worry about tanking or draining gradients to ensure the water flows away properly and the rest of your bathroom stays dry.

Walk-in Shower Ideas

The great news is that walk-in shower ideas can work brilliantly no matter what size your bathroom. When considering small bathroom ideas, a walk-in shower with access at one end can prove an effective space-saving solution. Tucked in the corner or an alcove, you can achieve maximum showering area, without suffering soggy toilet roll.

In bigger bathrooms, consider a centrally-positioned walk-through shower, which has access either end for a really luxurious, boutique hotel look. Read on for shower room ideas featuring walk-in showers, as well as plenty of advice from bathroom design experts.

1. Invest in a designer screen

Image credit: Pier1 Bathrooms/Industville

Walk-in showers are pretty unobtrusive compared to full enclosures but that needn’t equal boring. Crittall-style screens, which mimic the metal framing of Crittall glazing are now widely available, and more affordable. ‘Matt black is so on-trend in bathrooms just now. We love incorporating Crittall-style screens into our designs to achieve that striking, urban-chic look,’ enthuses bathroom designer Rosie Proto, from Pier1 Bathrooms.

‘The Merlyn screens we use have the black coating fully integrated into the underlying aluminium substrate, so it cannot chip or peel, making it really durable. It’s the perfect screen for a minimalist yet impactful walk-in shower.’

2. Build in storage

Image credit: Ripples

Storing shampoo and soap within arm’s reach is key to showering comfort, not to mention a clutter-free bathroom! If you’re building out stud walls to accommodate a new walk-in shower, adding in smart shower storage ideas like niches makes the best use of the empty void behind the tiles. It also looks far slicker than protruding shelves, and you won’t bash your elbows on them while lathering up!

There are two important points to remember when building in storage. First, don’t position your storage niches directly under the shower head, otherwise your toiletries will be forever sat in a pool of water.

Secondly, make sure you tile the shelf on a very slight gradient to encourage any water to drain away. For extra spa appeal, include waterproof downlights inside the niches and enjoy atmospheric lighting by night.

3. Turn it on without getting soaked

Image credit: Huntsmore/Chris Snook

Walk-in showers generally have the shower head located furthest away from the entrance to keep the rest of the bathroom dry. This can make it harder to lean in and turn the controls on, than in a corner enclosure or over-bath shower for example. Luckily the solution is simple, as Huntsmore’s director Eamonn Agha explains. ‘When designing a walk-in shower, we would ideally have the shower mixer controls at the entrance so that you can turn on the shower and adjust the heating to get the perfect temperature before entering,’ he explains. ‘It also means you can turn the shower on whilst fully dressed and not get cold or wet if trying to reach for the controls under the showerhead.’

4. Install a skylight

Image credit: Laura Stephens Interior Design/Paul Massey

Adding windows in the roof can transform a dark or dingy walk-in shower room. Particularly in the mornings when a blast of Vitamin D will help kick-start your day.

While perfect for loft conversions, skylights can also be used to brighten up any bathroom with no void between ceiling and roof, such as extensions with flat roofs and mansard rooms. In this cosy walk-in shower room, interior designer Laura Stephens has used glossy tiles to help reflect light from the above around the space.

Do invest in self-cleaning glass, especially if your skylight is hard to access from outside. Go as big as you can manage and position the skylight directly inside the showering area for maximum invigoration.

5. Step it up

Image credit: Murus Art/Chris Snook

Not every room is suited to a level-entry walk-in shower installation, especially if there isn’t sufficient plumbing space in the floor joists. This is a common scenario in period country homes and loft conversions but don’t despair; raising the shower tray has a number of advantages. Firstly, all those pipes can be easily stashed and the correct drainage gradients achieved with minimal disruption.

Secondly, a raised level will make it far easier to keep the rest of the bathroom floor dry, helping to prevent slip hazards in the process. We love the raised-level walk-in shower in this attic bathroom idea. Extending the width of the floor area inside the shower with colourful tiles increases the sense of space inside.

6. Swap out the bath

Image credit: Future PLC/ Jamie Mason

If you’re really not a bath person but would love a more spacious shower, go ahead and make the switch. Choose a walk-in shower enclosure, which is sized to match the dimensions of a standard bath – 170cm long – to make it an easy straight swap. These generous enclosures are aimed at homeowners looking to ditch the bath without having to replace the floor or tank the whole room.

The screen and tray are usually sold together, and the design includes a drying area at the entrance to help protect your bathroom floors. Just make sure you pop a towel hook nearby. Putting a bath back in again will be just as easy so you don’t need to worry about devaluing your home if you’re planning to move on.

7. Tank the floors

Image credit: BC Designs/Darren Chung

For a wet-room look without the soggy toilet roll, tank the room and install a single glass screen. This walk-in shower idea allows easy, level access, making it a great choice for inclusive use. For minimal visual interruption, choose a frameless screen – sometimes called wet room panels. A wall-mounted support arm is sufficient for small screens like this one. But larger panels should be fixed at floor level for extra rigidity.

‘High-impact floor tiles will help distract attention away from the screen, so you’ll barely notice it’s there,’ adds Barrie Cutchie, Design Director at BC Designs. ‘Continuing the same floor tiles throughout will also make your walk-in shower feel bigger and less busy.’

8. Protect your modesty

Image credit: Aqata

Not only is reeded glass fashion-forward but its softly defused surface will bring an element of modesty to your walk-in showering environment. Perfect for providing privacy in shared en-suite bathroom designs, a simple reeded glass panel is all you need for uninhibited showering.

Install the glass with the reeded texture on the exterior to achieve a smooth easy-to-clean surface inside the shower. The external rail on this smart screen is ideal for keeping your towel close to hand.

9. Work a walk-in in your loft

Image credit: Future PLC/ Polly Eltes

A walk-in shower is often the best solution in a loft bathroom where awkward ceiling angles can make it hard to install a fully enclosed shower. ‘Bespoke shower enclosures can be seriously expensive, but a simple screen and walk-in access means you can often buy a panel off-the-shelf,’ says Merry Albright, creative director at Border Oak.

‘Find the tallest wall and dedicate this to the shower head, as you’ll need the height to shower underneath.’ Positioning a skylight at the point where you enter the shower can achieve a little more head height to step inside. But it doesn’t matter if you have to bend a little to enjoy decent head space while you’re showering.

10. Choose sleek, seamless walls

Image credit: Fiona Duke Interiors/Anna Stathaki

The space inside your walk-in shower clearly needs to be waterproof but tiling from floor-to-ceiling can feel cold, plus grout cleaning is never fun! Microcement, a.k.a. polished plaster, is an on-trend alternative to tiles – providing a sleek, seamless backdrop to any walk-in shower.

‘Microcement is essentially a waterproof plaster that is built up in layers to create an easy-clean, non-porous surface,’ says interior designer Fiona Duke.

‘Pigments can be added to create whatever colour you like, and it has a subtly textured surface that adds a tactile dimension. In a smaller walk-in shower the lack of grout lines keeps the vertical surfaces simpler and enhances the sense of space.’

Is a walk-in shower a good idea?

‘Walk-in Showers not only look good, but are also the ultimate in inclusively designed bathrooms,’ says David Osborne, CEO of Roman Showers.

Whilst looking stylish, modern and on-trend, users of all ages and abilities find them easy to use and access – the lack of handles or mechanisms (and often steps or thresholds) makes them particularly appealing to those with arthritis, yet equally chic for younger generations.’

How big does a walk-in shower need to be to not have a door?

It depends on whether the room is fully tanked, and you’re just using the screen to keep the loo seat dry, or whether you really need to contain your shower inside the tray. In a fully tanked wet room situation, you can get away with a slightly smaller showering footprint.

‘For walk-in showers where you want to keep the rest of the bathroom dry, we always advise you allow around 50cm for the entranceway width. And from 50cm-60cm for the showering area’ says David Osborne, CEO of Roman Showers. ‘Therefore, for a really effective and comfortable walk-in shower, you should aim for an overall length of about 100cm-120cm’. Average walk-in shower widths range from 70cm-100cm.

‘If space is a little tight or you’re worried about keeping water contained, look out for wetroom panels and walk-in enclosures with small pivoting deflector panels that fold out to restrict spray when showering and then fold neatly back when you need to exit,’ adds David

The post Walk-in shower ideas – 10 ways to embrace this hot showering trend appeared first on Ideal Home.